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Brunch with Melanie Van Vliet


Ned Groth, December, 2008

 

Melanie

 

On November 23, Dave Griswold and I drove to Westport, CT and met with Melanie Van Vliet, over brunch at the River House Tavern. Dave brought along our yearbook, and we spent a couple of hours sharing memories. Melanie was very happy to meet two of her brother’s old friends, and we learned more about his life.

Melanie described their early-life sibling relationship. She is six years younger, and "he was the bossy Big brother, who I did look up to." But, as little sisters will do, she found his weaknesses and learned that he was afraid of snakes, so she became a herpetologist, collecting snakes and lizards. She’d come running downstairs and say, “Has anyone seen Herman my Milk Snake? He escaped,” which would usually keep bossy Brother away for awhile !

Melanie said Damon had a love of research and collecting, even as a child. He collected coins, looking for rare and valuable ones. As a young adult, he was fascinated with the conspiracy theories about the JFK assassination and the Vietnam War and collected lots of books on the subject.

Melanie fondly recalled Damon’s girlfriend from MacMurray College, Shirley Norris, whom Carl Braun has described in our class memorial for Damon as lovely, sweet, and totally devoted to Damon. When Damon left MacMurray, he enlisted in the Army, and was stationed in Germany. Melanie was in Switzerland, in school, at that time, so they got to visit each other. Shirley followed Damon to Europe, and they were married in Germany.  Shirley taught special-ed kids on the army base, and Melanie joined them for the ceremony. After the Army, Damon finished college at the University of Maryland, and Shirley went to law school. They divorced after a few years and Damon never remarried. Melanie has lost touch with Shirley, but says she was a lawyer in Washington, DC, some years ago.

After finishing college, Damon went to work with his father, in a printing and graphic design firm in NYC. Melanie said he developed some adventurous hobbies—he liked to shoot pool, and to play backgammon.

Eventually NYC and his father’s company didn't feel right for him, so Damon departed for Florida, where he had his own successful printing business for many years. Melanie went down there and worked with Damon for a few of those years. It was apparently toward the end of that period, after Melanie had moved back up North, that Lang and Griswold made their memorable visit, described in our memorial.

Melanie answered some of the questions Gris and Lang had, dating from that visit, for us.

In 1976, Damon had a son, Nathaniel, and was caught up in a custody battle with the boy's mother, after discovering that she belonged to a cult, the Children of God.  She took the boy illegally to South America. Damon gave up everything to pursue his son with the help of the FBI and the State Department, to South America, Asia and Europe. Because of his relentless pressure to give up the boy, the Cult had been threatening to Damon  (hence the armed guard, and the arsenal he kept) It was a sad, tumultuous time for Damon and his family. He and his son eventually reunited years later.

For much of his life, Damon had a keen interest in herbal remedies and alternative medicine. He even had a mail order business selling information on natural healing. Toward the end of his life, he was fascinated with the idea of reincarnation.

After Damon returned to the Northeast to live in the mid-80's, he returned to his love of books and research. He became quite a well respected book dealer specializing in rare leather books and eventually in genealogy books. He sold them around the world on the internet and traveled all over New England to collect them.

Damon wasn’t one to reveal too much about himself, at least not to his classmates, and even if he had, we probably couldn’t have helped him much to cope with the challenges his life presented.  His sister remembers that in spite of his introspective, solitary persona, everyone who met Damon liked him immediately. He had charm, warmth and a keen interest in others around him.

Towards the end of his life Melanie heard stories from Damon’s neighbors in Manchester, New Hampshire where he lived, that he had helped numerous homeless people in town, bringing them food and giving them clothes. He even gave shelter to a man and his young daughter who needed a place for a few days.

At least we can hope that he’s happy, wherever he is now. Dave and I were very glad to have met Melanie, and to have had a chance to share some of our memories. We have invited her to put together her own family memories for posting here.

 

Go to the Van Vliet Memorial Page

 


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